Nonetheless, those things have come to pass. My presence beside your crib actually keeps you from falling asleep. Bittersweet. You sleepily wave "bye bye" to me when I lay you down. So today, when you pointed at your pacifier (which I tell you is only for sleeping), I asked if you were tired. You said "yes" and pointed at your crib. We turned out the lights, closed your blinds, and we rocked for a bit, as we always do. But this morning, you snuggled against my chest, hugging me, as we rocked. You patted my arm as I rubbed your head and before I knew it, you were asleep.
Instead of panicking that your nap would be ruined because you hadn't fallen asleep on your own in your crib, I snuggled you closer and treasured a now too-rare moment that you weren't fighting to get down to go figure out how to stack your mega blocks together or to go look at your pop-up books or to go play with the radio. I felt my heart beating against your cheek and I wondered... Is its rhythm still familiar to you from your months growing beneath it? I was humbled as I realized how secure you feel with me, how much you trust me. I'm so blessed to be your mommy, you crazy kid. I love that you blessed me with that moment. I love that I took it, instead of rushing to lay you down, rushing to take a shower, rushing to make my shopping list, rushing to sweep the floor. For what? So that I could rush through everything else in my day and not take the time to see the small miracles that God places in our paths every day? The shopping will get done, the floors will get swept, and now I have a precious memory in my heart as well, of a sweet, too-smart-for-his-Mommy's-own-good, sleepy-eyed toddler falling asleep while hugging his most favorite lady.
