Morning

This is my son in the morning:

5:54 Eyes closed
5:55 Eyes open. "MOMMY!" (hug) "DADDY!" (hug) Sits up. Grabs toe. "Toe! TOOOOOOEEEEE! TOETOETOE. TOE. Toe? Mommy? TOE?" Pokes me in my eye. "EYE!" Laughs as I flinch. Crawls over me and slides off the bed. Grabs dog harness off the floor where I took it off the dog the night before. "Dog. Dog. Dog. DOGGY. DOG." Runs into the adjoining room where said dog has disappeared in an attempt to get away from a hyperactive toddler. Pets dog. "Dog. Buck." (The dog's name is Starbuck.) Runs back into the bedroom and tries to get back on the bed. "Mommy. Eat. Eat?" Makes monkey noises (meaning he wants a banana) and makes the sign for "please". Runs to the door and looks back. "Go?" Signs please.
5:58 Runs back to our bed.

This is me in the morning:

5:54 Eyes closed.
5:55 Eyes closed. Hear son. Get hugged. Get poked in the eye. Flinch. Blink. Blink. Get crawled over. Blink.
5:58 Blink. Groan. Lift son into bed and try to get him to go back to sleep. No luck.
6:00 Breathe a sigh of relief as my absolutely wonderful husband gets up with our son and says, "Let Mommy go back to sleep." Eyes closed. Snore.

A Toddler's Thoughts

Toddler's Log, Play Date Almost Fifteen Months:

I'm beginning to think Mommy sometimes doesn't know what words mean. She says this word "gross" a lot, but I think she means something to do with the dogs, because she usually says it when I'm playing with them. Today, I was trying to share my Goldfish with my buddy Starbuck, and Mommy saw me let him lick it and then I tried to put it in my mouth and Mommy said, "Oh, no, don't do that! That's gross!" I think she meant to say, "No, that's Starbuck's!"

Later, I figured out I could take my snacks out of my snack cup and put them on the floor. Mommy saw me pick one up off the floor and bring it to my mouth, but before I could eat it (and I really wanted it!) she took it away and said, "No, we don't eat off the floor; that's gross!" The dogs weren't even anywhere around! And even though I cried and threw a fit, she still wouldn't let me finish my snack. Silly mommy.

She also says it's gross when I play in the bowl of water that the dogs drink out of. It's gross when I try to touch the garbage can. It's gross when I put my shoes in my mouth. So, what is it, Mommy? Is "gross" another word for "dog"? Or is "gross" another word for "floor"? Another word for "garbage can"? I'm so confused! I think I will need to do an experiment to figure it out. Tomorrow, I'm going to do a bunch of stuff and see what she says is gross, and whether it has anything to do with the dogs or not. Until then, here's to being gross!

Toddlers and Dogs

Before my husband and I had a child together, we had dogs. Three of them, to be exact, and they were my babies until our son came along. My son is now 14 months old, and it struck me recently that toddlers are an awful lot like dogs. Here are the reasons I think so:

10. They understand basic commands just fine, but sometimes pretend they don't.

DOG: "Oh, you want me to come here? I don't think so. I think I'll continue to lay in my comfy dog bed."

KID: "Don't eat the crayons? But I want to! The dogs told me it'll make my poop change colors." 

9. Your food always tastes better than their food. My dogs beg at the table and steadfastly ignore their full bowls. (Sorry, future dinner guests. I'll put them up before you come over.) My son insists that he's done eating and politely requests to be let out of his high chair (pointing to the ground, saying "OUT" and signing "please") and when I ask if he's really done he nods and goes, "Uh huh, uh huh". As soon as I put him down, he stands beside my chair with his mouth open, happily accepts a forkful of whatever I'm eating, then walks in a big circle so that he winds up back at my chair with his mouth open. 

8. They make inexplicable messes and look decidedly nonchalant about it. "Oh, I thought you WANTED the dog food / blocks / toilet paper all over the house. My bad."

7. Your own are absolutely adorable, but other people's are kind of funny looking and sometimes annoying. Come on, admit it. 

6. Their attention spans are approximately the same length. This means that games never, ever get old, and, paradoxically, that they're also easily distracted. "AHHHH YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYA PEEKABOOOOOOOO! hahahahahaha Peek-a----- oh, look a BALLLLL!" This makes it nice in some ways, though, because kids and dogs both like balls and kids think it's hilarious to throw the ball to the dog over and over and over. Ahhhh, coffee break for mommy!

5. They get into mischief often, but they're so stinking cute you can't really stay mad.

 

4. They enjoy the small things in life. Like sticks. And walks. And snuggling up to your butt.

3. They live in the moment. One minute they can be really annoyed with you and the next they're happy and carefree.

2. Your bed is always more comfortable than theirs, and they somehow manage to take up room that is bigger than they even are. True story. My husband and I are sometimes allowed to sleep in the queen sized bed that our son and one of our dogs each thinks is his own.

And the number one reason toddlers are like dogs: you are always, always, always the most amazing person ever to them. Be worthy of it.