To My Fellow Mommies

Dear Fellow Mommy (Especially if you're a new one, too),

I've only been a mom for just about a year, and one thing I've learned so far is that everyone has an opinion of the "right" way to parent. And, unfortunately, a lot of people can be quite rude in making it obvious when they don't think you are doing things the "right" way (i.e., their way). It's hard enough  being a new parent without other people critiquing your parenting skills. So, fellow newbie, here is my promise to you.

Whether you breastfeed or formula feed, I will not judge you. I won't judge you if you never even wanted to breastfeed, and I also won't judge you if you plan to breastfeed past one year.

If you have a son, I won't judge you if you had him circumcised or if you didn't.

I won't judge you if you push your kid in a stroller or wear him/her in a wrap/sling/mei tei/insert favorite babywearing object here.

I won't judge you if you use cloth diapers or disposables.

I won't judge you if you co-sleep or if your child has slept every night and every nap in his/her crib.

I won't judge you if you started solids right at 6 months, or at 4 months, or waited until 9 months. I won't judge you if used Gerber or stewed apples yourself.

I won't judge you if you transition your child to cow's milk, coconut milk, rice milk, soy milk, almond milk, organic or non-organic. No judging.

I won't judge you if you don't "treasure every single moment because time goes by so fast." We know time flies. That doesn't mean we treasure every diaper change or every temper tantrum.

However, I will judge you if you don't feed your child at all, or barely feed your child. I will judge you if you never spend time with your child. I will judge you if you don't ever change your child's diaper. I will judge you if you don't provide a safe place for your child to sleep. I will judge you if you abuse your child or allow others to do so. I will judge you if make parenting decisions based on what is convenient for you instead of what is in the best interest of your child.

To me, the only "wrong" way to parent is not to love your child. If your parenting decisions are based out of love for your child, then you're not doing it wrong. I may not always agree with what you decide, and we may ultimately decide to do different things, but as long as you are parenting out of love and not out of convenience, I won't judge you and I won't think you're doing it wrong.

So. Keep calm and carry on. You're not a bad mother.