Always

Several hundred times a day (at least), I ask Elijah, "How much does Mommy love you?" He answers, "Always." Sometimes he stretches it out - "aaaaaaaaaaaaaalwwwwaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyssss!" - and screws up his little face while saying it, as if trying to convey through his facial expression as well as his tone how big "always" is. 

Recently, at night, while we are rocking and singing and saying prayers, Elijah has started asking questions of his own after I tell him that I love him. "Mommy loves you always and forever, baby." He looks at me, often nods, considering, and then says, "Daddy?" "Yes, baby, daddy loves you always, too." A pause. "Papa?" "Yes, Papa loves you, too." Nod, pause. "Mom-mom?" And on and on it goes, until he completes the whole list of people he knows and often repeating back on itself. 

So it was a little ironic today that I stumbled upon this post, from one of my favorite blogs: http://www.parents.com/blogs/dadabase/2013/09/23/deep-thoughts/what-it-means-when-somebody-loves-you/  Apparently my kiddo isn't the only one who wants to know that people he loves, love him also. 

I'm sure all parents have this little question-and-answer game, a catechism of sorts, to explain to their children how much they love them. And I'm sure, like with most catechisms, children learn the correct answers to say before they really understand what the answers mean. I was thinking about that recently, that my son doesn't *really* understand what it means that I love him always, or that I even love him at all. Sometimes it makes me a little sad that he doesn't really grasp the concept of love, but then when I realize that he doesn't understand because he's never been UNloved, it makes me feel much better, and if it takes being mistreated or neglected - the opposite of being loved - for him to know or appreciate what being loved means, then I'm happy for him to remain in the dark. We know that he is loved, always and forever, bigger than the moon, and longer than eternity, and right now that's all that matters.